Monday, May 4, 2009

Collective Thought

Got my ink cartridges Sunday. It was a very enjoyable day. It was drizzling and overcast but it was warm. Plus I got an egg sandwich from Dunkin Donuts which really makes it a great Sunday. I also got to have an hour plus talk with someone who I didn't realize I had as much in common with... it's amazing what you learn if you just exchange ideas. People that seem suited to careers might not want them, at least not the contract or the idea of slaving away towards retirement. Naturally, having a family (if that's already in your plans) throws a wrench in a devil-may-care attitude, and I guess I'd better not completely dismiss the idea in case I fall for a guy who is family-minded but I digress

Who'd have thunk that 'the man with the plan' that everyone admires and of whom people say, "I don't think he's ever broken a rule...", that guy who "is" the standard, he and I get along just fine. Why? I dunno. I feel like I'm as far opposite that as possible. My drive is fantastic far-off places. I want to live in a city with a young crowd. I want to be displaced, moved, shaken. I wish i were better at enjoying life than I am, then at least I could claim I was good at something besides being frenetic and comic-book drawings. However, it was strange how we both agreed on one thing. Neither or us could see (doesn't mean it won't happen), but neither of us could see ourselves stuck somewhere in the future. Neither of us could really explain ourselves, but he agreed,

"It's like you said, I want to be able to go."

I had described that as the life I wanted in the city. The ability to just go, to not have my time metered out to me in blocks and charts. He described it in a different sense, but somehow meaning something similar. I was surprised. It's not that I didn't think he was capable of that, but I assumed he would crave consistency and stability and here he was craving something he had no name for but in the outdoors in the future. He couldn't see himself doing the Army career at the exact moment we spoke. For all I know, his opinion has shifted and right now he is positive he is going to stay for life, but we shared that for a moment in time. It was brief, but it was great. I was on the same page with him, and it's okay because I'm still on my page. I'm still on my path and it's different and carved uniquely through time.

I guess it really made me feel confident because another friend of mine who is determined to do the military career told me vehemently that this guy is definitely going to stay in for life. According to my friend, Blondie, there's no other possibility. I think B. is career-driven which is fine, but he sort of slaves towards that end. It's okay, but I look at him and wonder if he's fulfilled. He is busy and satisfied and hard-working... harder working than I certainly. I wonder if he will look around someday and think that maybe he worked a little too hard on his career and not enough on things that make him happy without serving any particular military or career benefit. He hasn't exactly been very nice either. I stopped by the other day to invite him out for coffee and after that and my stopping by later he told me to not imagine we are 'dating'. The manner in which he told me was quite rude, because I left immediately and right after I left his roommate (who had been pretending to be listening to music on his headphones or legitimately trying to block our noise) told him he was being a real "D" which prompted him to apologize to me. I still remain offended because I was just being friendly, if he wants to read into it I won't invite him out to coffee. I mean it's just one of those things you do here at West Point, it's the social exchange that centers around food. Why do you think there are party pizzas? I love to go to Grant with friends even if I already ate, we just talk while they get their food or wait for their pizza. Some people need to get off their high horse and realize when a friendly offer is that and no more.

Well, it's the end of the year and I have a tendency to suddenly do something that isn't exactly well thought-out, impetuous is a better word. I am struggling to stay focused. More to follow.

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